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If My Toddler Tweeted

Every day I wonder what exactly is going through my daughter's head. Today though, as I tweeted my own thoughts (excessively, I'm sure), that curiosity went a little farther and I said to myself "What would she tweet about if she had the dexterity and mental capability to do so?" Below is a fictional account of what a day's worth of tweets might look like coming from my 20-month-old.


7:02 AM: "Good morning tweeps! Could totally sleep for another hour, but going to stress everyone out and wake up now, LOL!"

7:14 AM: "Oh great, bananas and toast for breakfast AGAIN. Can't wait til I'm able to speak so I can tell my dad to make me some pancakes! #Overit"

7:38 AM: "Anyone else really getting into Jake and the Neverland Pirates this season? @DisneyChannel is killing it with this show! #YoHoHo"

8:07 AM: "Mom just took my binky away. Said I can have it again at nap time. About. To raise. HELL!"

8:51 AM: "OMG YES. RT @SesameStreet Retweet this message for your chance to win an all-expenses paid trip to meet Elmo!"

10:17 AM: "Just left Mommy & Me class. Met the cutest guy there, but he's only 15 months and I didn't even get his name (he can't talk). UGH."

11:03 AM: "RT this if you hate it when your parents tell you 'No no!' #TeamDoItAnyway"

11:27 AM: "Does anybody else have these vacuum monsters at their house? Seriously freaks me out. I don't trust that thing at all!"

11:59 AM: "At Deanna Rose Farmstead. I love the animals at the place, but why does it smell like the inside of my Diaper Genie? #NoseplugsPlease"

12:42 PM: "Suddenly feeling so exhausted..."

3:04 PM: "WOW, I totally passed out LOL! Oh well, up and ready to take on the rest of the day. Sidewalk chalk, anyone? #Leggo"

3:12 PM: "Someone please explain why cars can't be drawn on? And why I have to hold hands whenever I walk somewhere? I swear, I can't do ANYTHING."

3:55 PM: "Before I forget, #FF some of my fav brands: @Pampers @GracoBaby @BabyEinstein @ToysRUs @Britax @OldNavy (love their tops!)"

4:19 PM: "Just made Mom read 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' for like the 9th time LOL. What can I say, I love that page with all the food!"

5:37 PM: "Daddy just got home. Where does he go all day anyway? Oh well, I've got a giant poop I'm about ready to unload for him. Start the countdown!"

5:46 PM: "Mission Dirty Diaper Accomplished! Take that, @AFOMOBlog!"

6:25: PM: "About to get into the bath. Realized I should have saved that poop for the tub. Darn it! #IllDoItTomorrow"

6:32 PM: "What do you guys think about these two red things on our chests? I guess they are called 'Nee nees'? Seriously, so weird!"

7:04 PM: "Oh jeez, Dad's filming me again. Making me pretend to be a rapper or whatever. He's so easily entertained! #BabyLife"

7:48 PM: "Milk in one hand, binky in the other. Getting rocked with my favorite blanket. Life is good. Goodnight everyone, tweet you tomorrow"


haha, awesome! i often sit and wonder what is going through my kids' heads. thinking about it in 140 chars or less makes it even funnier. :D

OMG LOL This was the funniest post yet man. I think you should start a twitter account just for this. Would be hilarious.

Awesome post. This has to be what's going on in their little heads haha!

This is brilliant! Stumbling it.

That is so incredibly awesome.

I would totally follow your baby on the ole tweet tweet.
My favorite was "#IllDoItTomorrow". bahaha

Thank you all for the kind words, I'm glad you liked this! I would totally make an account tweeting from her perspective, but when she gets older and is ready to tweet herself, she'd probably turn me in for Twitter fraud!

Why you no update this anymore?

Glad to read your post :). It is very informative!

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