Today is the Bomb (Pop)

Everyone prepare yourselves for purple lips and serious brain freeze; today is National Bomb Pop Day! Now personally, I don't know that there's a better symbol of childhood summers than the Bomb Pop (the Ninja Turtle ice cream bars with gumball eyes are a close second). And let's face it, it HAD to be from the Ice Cream Man; a Bomb Pop out of our own freezer just wasn't the same, and my Mom even suggesting the idea was just plain insulting. I can still recall those moments of being outside on a sweltering hot day, hearing that familiar bell, then full-on sprinting (which was still pretty slow given the fact that I was a 'husky' child) inside to have a rapid-fire argument conversation with the parents about getting change to buy ice cream. They caved most of the time, and moments later I would be outside, hurrying to enjoy a Bomb Pop before it melted and painted the driveway with blue, red and white droplets. And on that note, the classic three-color bomb pop is the only way to go; these new-fangled variations on the Bomb Pop that have different flavors and candy inside are just bollocks. (sorry, cranky old man moment)

My daughter has never had a Bomb Pop, but maybe today is the perfect day to introduce her to them. With a heat advisory today in Kansas City and the temperature potentially reaching 100 degrees, a Bomb Pop would be the perfect remedy to the scorching heat. And given the fact that my daughter devoured last weekend's frozen yogurt like some kind of starving predator (seriously, I was kind of worried I'd lose a finger), I have no doubt that she would fall in love with eating the Bomb Pop. Of course, with a Bomb Pop it's pretty inevitable that a disastrous mess will be produced, so it would have be one of those food items that I lovingly refer to as a 'diaper eater' (aka stripping down to nothing but a diaper to avoid permanently stained clothes).

So, if you happen to be at the grocery store today, pick up a box of Bomb Pops and share them with your family in celebration of this 'holiday'. Even better, if you hear that crescendoing 'ding' of the ice cream man heading your way, sprint outside with your wallet and enjoy the cool, tri-flavor goodness with your family outside. Granted, on a day like today, the thing may melt before you even get to the blue section, but it's all about the experience right?

As a little trivia side note, the Bomb Pop was invented right here in Kansas City in 1955!

Happy National Bomb Pop Day!

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My Dad Kryptonite, Revealed

I still remember the day I developed my aversion to snakes. I was in Tennessee, or Kentucky or some state in that general region. My parents had taken us on a God-forsaken trip to the South to see such attractions as Dollywood (yes, that would be an amusement park started by Dolly Parton) and stay in a cabin in the woods. That particular day, we were hiking up a mountain, when we stumbled across a large crowd stalled at one point on the path. There was a large rattlesnake coiled up in the middle of the trail, and everyone was frozen as the reptile shook its tail in warning.

Now, while this creature didn't bite me or anyone else in the group, it was still a moment that resonates with me today. As a kid, seeing a single animal put the brakes on a group of 20+ adults is a pretty significant sight. Clearly, they were afraid of this thing, so why shouldn't I be?

To this day, I still hate snakes. My encounters with them have been few and far between, but I still am repulsed at the idea of coming across one. Strangely, this fear doesn't translate to other 'creepy crawlies', so to speak. I take no issue with bugs or spiders (in fact, you can ask some of my old college friends about the day I ate a live spider after snatching it  mid-air), and even the small lizards that bound around my parents yard instill more fascination than fear inside of me.

My aversion was brought back full force the other day when I received a picture message from Amanda that showed a dead snake she found a mere 50 yards or so from our apartment. Oh crap. Just looking at a picture on my phone raised my heart rate and caused a string of curses to run through my mind. What if there were more? Is there a nest I need to set fire to? What if they sneak their way into the sewer system and bite my ass while I'm on the toilet?

The picture message that immediately weakened my powers.

This overly dramatic fear of snakes presents one big problem for me, though: I'm a dad. I'm not supposed to be afraid of anything.

All of us dads recognize the fact that, to our kids, we are veritable Supermen. We are there to protect, serve, and show courage in all perilous and scary situations. So what am I supposed to do if I'm ever with me daughter and happen to stumble across a snake? Well, I'll admit. I'm still going to act like a little pansy. Because snakes are my "Dad Kryptonite". And we all have our "Dad Kryptonite", that one major thing (or in some cases, many little things) that make us immediately drop our tough guy facade and show our weakness. I know I'm not alone. I took to Twitter in order to receive some support, and learned I'm not the only one. Other Dads noted their own forms of Kryptonite, including tornadoes and bugs.

As a comic book dweeb, I'm very much in tune to the fact that even the most powerful heroes and villains have their weaknesses. Heck, incarnations of the Green Lantern have had weaknesses to wood and the color yellow (a fear of snakes doesn't look so stupid now, huh?). As much as I never want to crack in front of my daughter, I know it's going to happen at some point. And since I know it's coming, all I can do is plan for it, and do my best to turn it into a teaching opportunity.

After all, fear is a funny thing. We aren't born with it. Hell, Ava has proven time and time again, through her daredevil climbing and diving escapades, that she came out of the womb with no fear or trepidation whatsoever. But as she's grown older, she's developed fears of her own, and lately I've been trying to help her overcome them. But as many times as I might tell her the vacuum cleaner is "nice" and give it kisses, or touch the doorstopper to show her that it's not going to pull my arms off, those fears still linger. They may be around for a long time, and that's okay. Being afraid of things is normal, regardless of how silly or meaningless other people might think it is. If, in 20 years, she still has a fear of doorstoppers, then so be it. She may earn herself a spot on some TLC reality show, but I won't judge her.

Dads, we may not want them to, but our kids will ultimately benefit from learning about our Dad Kryptonite. They need to know that even the toughest of heroes have things that they are afraid of and make their defenses come crashing down. While my daughter will be exposed to the 'human' side of my character, I know my powers of (almost) fearlessness, courage and super strength will remain intact. She'll just know to never dangle a snake in front of my face, or the consequences will be dire. And of course by dire, I mean I'll produce a deafening, high-pitched shriek and run for my life. Hey, but maybe then I can add super speed to my list of powers?

Chime in below, Dads; what is YOUR Dad Kryptonite?

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7 Lessons Learned From My Dad

In the dad blogiverse, it seems to be a requisite to write a post about Father's Day. I've seen guides to the best Father's Day gifts, guides to the WORST Father's Day gifts, explanations of what fathers REALLY want on the holiday and much, much more. I'm hopping on the bandwagon and putting up a Father's Day post, but instead of focusing solely on my role as a father (Which I do most of the time on the blog anyway), I want to dedicate this post as an open letter to my dad. He's an amazing man, and all of my parenting methods (which I like to think are very good) are derived from the way he raised me.

So Dad, without a lengthy introduction, here's a list of 7 of the top moments/memories I shared with you that helped shape who I am today. Some are fun, some are sentimental, but they are all incredibly important and whether you know it or not, make me who I am today and have helped to mold me into the father I strive to be.

1) The success/hard work talk

This is the day in high school when you sat me down with the binder that contained the financial information for my college fund. You essentially summarized the fact that if I worked hard and busted my butt in high school and college, that I would earn scholarship to pay for my education and the money in my college fund would ultimately be mine after I graduated. At the time, it was probably the most sensible way for you to get the message across that hard work reaps its benefits. I was an egotistical teenager, though, so using the money as an 'ultimate reward' was an excellent way to illustrate the point. I'm proud to say I did earn a share of that college fund after graduation, and the overall message sticks with me today. I bust my ass at my job every day, knowing that even if I don't see an immediate reward, it will pay off in the long run.

2) Letting me taste your beer

What kid isn't curious about what their parents' beer tastes like? Heck, Ava already points and grabs at my beer glass, curious about this mysterious 'grown up drink'. But when I was a kid, and would have those random, occassional sips of MGD or Rolling Rock, I was repulsed. Why would anyone want this? Forget being a grown up, I'll stick with my Ecto Cooler and cream soda. Really, there was a lesson to be learned even in this small action: Don't be too eager to grow up. There's a reason that certain things are held exclusive to those older than you; it takes some aging, maturing and growing to be ready for them. From beer to relationships to money and everything in between, some things are just better after you've had some years of experience on this planet. And what do you know? Now I'm a beer fanatic, and I drink beers that you are taken aback by. Funny how that all came full circle..

3) Telling us you lost your job
I didn't believe you at first. I was a kid, and didn't really understand. I'm sorry for that. When you're a kid, you see your parents as invincible (especially a son towards his dad), and it was hard to grasp the idea of something so horrible happening to someone so seemingly strong and indestructible. But it happened. And when you told us that night at dinner, you handled it with tact and a respectable air of calmness. I don't doubt that you were screaming, crying and frustrated inside. But you didn't let it show. You knew that you couldn't upset us, and that to us, everything needed to be "alright", even if it really wasn't. At that moment in time, you were a shining example of humbleness and positivity while staring in the face of loss and disappointment. While I certainly don't hope I ever have to endure getting laid off, I hope that if it does happen, I handle it in the manner you did.

4) Steak N "Shake"

I know it's dumb. But I'll never forget your Steak N Shake joke. In case you forgot (which I doubt you have), it was nothing more than you saying the name of the restaurant, then dancing and gyrating your body as you said the word 'shake'. I have every intention of taking Ava to Steak N Shake at least once in her life so I can repeat this joke. Every corny joke I tell or silly thing I do when with my daughter, there's always going to be a shred of inspiration drawn from your Steak N "Shake".

5) Seeing you cry

The specific moment that has always stuck out in my mind is when we had to bury Sophie, the family dog. Dad, we were in a house full of emotionally-driven, sensitive women. I don't fault them for that by any means, but given the circumstances, I understood why you might have felt a need to be the 'strong' one during sadness or tragedy. But when Sophie passed away and we opted to bury her in the backyard, you broke down like I had never seen before. The vision of you lowering her down, then starting to sob as you scooped dirt back into the hole, will always stay with me. To some, the passing of a family pet might not mean much, but to our family, it was a big deal. Seeing you react the way you did and watching the tears run down your face implanted a permanent reminder in my brain that it's okay to cry, even when others might not think it's necessary or approriate. Nothing is wrong with showing emotion, even in situations when you may be the only one showing it. A constant tough guy facade is overrated and unhealthy.

6) Playing 'What's on the ceiling?'

How could I ever forget this game? You played this with Jill, me AND Libby. We are talking a 'homemade' game that stood up to over a decade's worth of use. You should be proud of yourself! But even more so, laying there and imagining what was on the ceiling was an incredible way to develop our imaginations and sense of creativity. Let's face it, nobody ever wanted to see the same thing on the ceiling twice. Dinosaurs, food, spaceships and more; nothing was off limits in 'What's on the ceiling?', and that's what made it so great. If I didn't have 'What's on the ceiling?', would I be as creative as I am today? I doubt it. To be especially corny, the world is my ceiling and I can create whatever I want.

7) When you told me I'm a great dad

There's not much else to say about this, other than it was a defining moment in my life. To hear you tell me that I'M a great dad is like Daniel-San having Mr. Miyagi tell him he's a karate master. I learned from the best, and to get a compliment on my parenting from my mentor is about as meaningful as it can get. I can only hope that as I grow as a father, that I live up to your example.

I hope to pass on the lessons I learned from you to Ava as she grows up: work hard and you will reap the benefits; don't be in a hurry to grow up; stay humble and hopeful in the face of adversity; always stay silly; don't be afraid to cry, even if others may not; always let your creativity and imagination grow; and when she has children, I'll remind her to always encourage and compliment them on the amazing job they are doing.

I love you, Dad. Happy Father's Day, thank you for all of the lessons you've taught me, both directly and indirectly. And thank you for being such a great Grandpa. Now, I just have to hope that you read this!

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Land of 1000 Blocks

With the recent news that a Legoland will be constructed in Kansas City's Crown Center, I've been stuck in a state of toy nostalgia, reminiscing on the countless hours of entertainment that Legos and Duplos (which, contrary to popular belief, are not a Lego competitor, but a Lego product line) provided me as a child.

Ava has just started playing with Duplos when we visit my parents house. Coincidentally, the big blue bucket of blocks that they have is the same one that I played with as a child. In fact, there are still faded remnants of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 'Pizza Time!' sticker that I had slapped onto the container. My parents may be mild hoarders of my old toys and kid stuff, but I am so thankful for it. The other day we brought up my 20+ year old Tonka truck that was still going strong. And sure enough, Ava grabbed it and started loading the bed of the truck with Duplo blocks.

As I watch my daughter explore the blocks now and learn how they fit together in infinite combinations, it takes me back to my thought process as a childhood Lego construction foreman. I always hated the 'kits' that gave you specific legos and instructions on what to build and how to do it. No way, I wasn't going to be held down like that. My ADD and rebellious nature wouldn't allow it. If I had the slightest knowledge of who Frank Lloyd Wright was as a child, I'm sure that's who I would have compared myself to.

Most kids built the standard collection of Lego creations: towers, castles,  houses, etc. Well, I wasn't most kids. In other words, I was a really weird kid and created a lot of strange stuff with Legos. So in keeping with the celebration of Legoland making it's way to KC, I thought I'd post a list of the top ten Lego creations I've ever made. Some succeeded, some failed, some left people scratching their heads thinking that I might have some sort of mild disorder. Either way, I had the time of my life. Without further ado, and in no particular order:



1) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Weapons

This might not seem so out of the ordinary at first glance. But, I was so determined to have the entire set of TMNT weapons (sais, sword, bo staff, nunchucks) that I took a piece of chain from my dad's workshop and attempted to super-glue it to the nunchuck "handles" so they were authentic. Pretty sure once my dad walked in and saw that going down, the nunchucks got the kibosh.

2) Skates

Our Duplo set had a number of pieces with 4 wheels, intended for use as part of a train. Well I said "Screw a train" and instead wanted to Kristi Yamaguchi my way through the house on a set of Lego skates. Naturally, this ended horribly, and thanks to a mild entryway-induced head injury, Lego skates were retired from action after the first use.

3) Dad's Face

I don't remember exactly what this was for, probably Father's Day or my dad's  birthday. But I thought that constructing my dad's face out of Legos would be a brilliant gift idea that would leave my dad indebted to me for years to come. The result was a misshapen, primary-colored Rocky Dennis/Picasso-on-acid hybrid. You're welcome, dad!

4) Genitalia

Kids think private parts are funny. I thought Lego private parts were especially funny. I ain't sorry.

Amazing Lego art or Simple Plan album cover?

5) Grenade

Though the purpose behind these was nefarious (to harass my sisters), the thought process during creation was actually pretty creative and is a testament to the problem solving skills that Legos can develop. Basically, I wanted to develop some sort of Lego bomb that would shatter on impact when tossed in the vicinity of my sisters. It was a multi-stage process, as I learned that I had to loosely connect the blocks in order for it to work. I also eventually learned that I could enclose smaller Legos inside the grenade to create extra 'shrapnel'. Yeah, I was sick.

6) Wolverine claws

Really more like Lady Deathstrike claws (for those of you non-comic book nerds, this means 5 claws, on one each finger), but God knows I didn't want to be running around the house pretending to be Lady Deathstrike. Again, an example of the creative methods used with these blocks; the holes on the bottom of the Duplos were the perfect size to insert my fingers and create enough suction to stay on. These were great for harassing the dog when the dustbuster was out of commission!

7) The Totally Universal Remote

The raised bumps on the Duplo blocks were perfect remote control buttons. Connect a few of the large, flat blocks together and you have the largest universal remote known to man. I went so far as to draw a diagram of what each of the imaginary buttons controlled, which, if I remember right, had the ability to freeze things, mute people, and make a snack appear, among much more. I wonder if I can sue the makers of 'Click' for stealing my idea..

8) Fart Box

Yes, I made a box. For storing farts. Don't judge me.

9) Walker

My guess is that this was inspired by my strange fascination with my Grandma's walker as a child. The train pieces came into play here again, which resulted in a pimped-out 16-wheel walker. You know, I think when I'm 80 I'm going to recreate this one for actual use. And forget tacking tennis balls onto the bottom of it, I'll save those for chucking at the neighbors when I'm feeling extra senile. GET OFF MY LAWN!

10) ????

Okay, some of you might think this is a cop out. It's really not. I truly believe that my glory days of Lego building are not all behind me. With my daughter growing up and starting to cross the threshold into true Lego appreciation, I fully believe that I'll be diving right back into brainstorming sessions, figuring out a great new device to pester the dogs with pester my wife with fart into create.



I suppose some parents might look at this list and see it as a warning to monitor their child's Lego use. Well, if your kid is weird, then yeah, you might want to make sure he's not coasting through the house on Lego Skates while hoisting a pair of Lego boobs into the air. But if your child is fairly normal, then just look at this list as an overall representation of the creative possibilities that lie within a child's mind while playing with Legos.

So if you don't have any yet, get out there and buy your kid some Legos or Duplos. And if you do have a bucket of these miracle bricks, take some time to plop down on the ground and serve as your child's construction partner. Who knows, maybe your combined forces will create something that ends up belonging on this list.

And coincidentally, Eversave (see link below) has a deal today where you can get $25 worth of merchandise (including Legos) from Toyscamp.com for as cheap as $7 if you're a first time Eversave user. Go do it now!

http://www.eversave.com/online/toys-camp?sourceid=68117

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