Becoming # 2

First of all, this entry has nothing to do with diapers, poop or anything of a less-than-fragrant nature...I know, this is rare for me. No, the # 2 here is in reference to one of the most incredible changes that occurs during pregnancy. It's not physical, it goes fairly unseen, and it definitely isn't listed in the beginning of the chapters of 'What to Expect'. What I'm talking about is how becoming pregnant and getting ready for a baby has the magical power of causing an expectant mother or father to become almost completely selfless. Now is that to say that there aren't selfish parents out there? Of course not. There is a fair share of parents out there that still are in love with themselves. They are called stage moms, and you can usually find these freaks on reality shows planting wigs and fake teeth on their children to gain attention. But I digress...

I'll admit it, I've spent most of my life being selfish. I'm not too proud to say it. Quite frankly, I think the majority of people do, whether they will own up to it or not. We come into this world immediately being babied, coddled, and given everything that we need as soon as we need it. As we get a little bit older, this conditioning becomes pretty obvious as the phrases "I WANT" and "MINE" become the most regular parts of the child lexicon. Now, obviously as kids, we are generally taught the basic concepts of sharing, caring for others, and all that storybook, Sesame Street, golden rule propaganda. But, throughout our youth, do we REALLY ever stop considering ourselves to be # 1? I'd venture to say no. We may go through a brief phase between the ages of 7-9 where we get a kick out of being considerate of other people, but its pretty much human nature to look out for yourself way before anybody else. And do I really even have to talk about high school?

So what is it about those little unseen miracles that gets a grown man to crumble and forget about any of his own issues? How can a 1 1/2 pound person who can't even speak and still has partially translucent skin wrap her daddy around her finger before she's even here to give me sad eyes?

I HAVE NO IDEA. Seriously. I'm completely and utterly stumped. I've taken a step back and looked at my habits recently, compared them to how I used to act, and I am in total disbelief. No self-help book, no 'step' program, and no psychiatrist could have done the sort of mental makeover that Ava has done to me over these past few months.

Let's take money for example. The stuff burns a hole in my pocket. I've learned that the hard way. In the not too distant past, I could tear through my bank account balance easily with purchases that were nothing more than simple 'wants' of mine. Now? All I can think about is making sure that my little girl is going to be provided for. I'm already ordering her clothes for NEXT summer so that I know she'll have something fun to wear when we go to the pool or out to play or whatever. This is just so bizarre to me I can't even begin to explain it. I make a little bit of extra money doing work online and just got into the habit of doing market research studies. Today I got paid $30 for doing a half-hour research study on white out pens..yeah I know, if only I could make a career out of those bad boys, right? Now, there's lots of things I could do with that money. I could buy CDs that I want, or put the money towards getting a new cell phone since I loathe mine. But in reality, I can't even think about buying that sort of stuff because in my mind I envision Ava surrounded by toys, food and clothes. And every time I swipe my debit card or hit Purchase online, I imagine one of those items vanishing, causing her lip to start trembling (I'm doomed), and I can't even bring myself to do it. So in the meantime, I'll pirate the CDs I want (cram it FCC) and I'd much sooner rock a Zack Morris cell phone than take something from her..that money is going into the 'Ava Jar'!



Money is just a minor example though. It's really a matter of the complete mindset of wanting to ensure somebody else's well-being ahead of yours. Before Ava, I tried to do this as best I could with Amanda (although I'm sure I wasn't the greatest..but she's going to have to start her own blog if she wants to put that out there) but now I KNOW that I'm 100% capable and intent on ensuring my family's happiness first and foremost. I wouldn't want it any other way. After all, Amanda is a pretty incredible woman, and I can only assume Ava is going to follow in Mommy's footsteps..how could I not want to see smiles on their faces?

I also have to give credit where credit is COMPLETELY due and note how amazing Amanda has been up to this point. It's absolutely crazy that we are about 2/3 of the way through the pregnancy, and it has gone so fast. I attribute so much of that to the fact that she has been a complete badass (yep, I said it) through it all and has shown just how strong of a person she is. Working 30+ hours (on her feet the whole time, not to mention), moving, taking care of two large dogs with anxiety and hyperactivity issues, all while managing to put up with an overcaffeinated, anxiety-stricken fiance..and pregnant? Sounds like quite the load to me, and she has handled it totally in stride. Plus, she looks pretty damn good doing it, if I do say so myself! I have no doubt in my mind that she is going to be an incredible mommy.

So where exactly are we at this point? We are in the middle of week 27, and at our most recent appointment (Tuesday) we found out that Ava's heartbeat and Amanda's tummy measurement were both perfect. We also got a chance to get a quick sonogram peek at Ava to make sure she was moving as much as she needed to be, and she definitely was! We've already decided that she is going to be an ornery one because she likes to play games with Amanda and I. I said the other night that trying to feel her kick is like playing Whack-A-Mole at the arcade (RIP Fun Factory) because once you put your hand where Kick A struck, Kick B is on the other side. And then when you put both hands on, she just stops. Already a little pain in the butt and I love it. I can just envision here in there, floating around and laughing at her idiot dad trying to chase her around..a glimpse into the future, I'm sure!

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I'm a terrible blogger..

I'll just throw that out there to begin with. Although, I will say that the time that has elapsed between postings is a perfect indication of how busy we have been and how fast time is flying by. I'm now referring to how close the due date is in terms of weeks rather than months, which is a scary thought! At this rate, before I know it Ava will be in high school driving my car and I'll be fully gray and developing a serious case of Dunlap's disease (dont know what it is? Google it).

So what exactly has been going on since my last update? Well, without going into the complete minutia of every single task, moving to a new apartment undoubtedly occupied a vast amount of our time. Although it kept us busy, stressed, and at times exhausted, the move was a long time coming and very very welcome. We essentially doubled our space, and are now in a literally brand new apartment that will be the perfect place to start out and welcome our little girl.

For me, there are two parts of moving that are by far the worst:

1) Cleaning the old place for inspection. Long story short, I can't wait to stop renting. I have yet to be a part of a 100% pleasant renting experience, although I'm trying to be optimistic that our newest place will change this. I would love to go on a rant, naming landlord's and throwing out names of apartment complexes that have infuriated me over the past few years, but considering one of the recent lawsuits that made its way into national headlines, I think I'll refrain (as hard as that is for me).

2) Making all the phone calls. I know, this one sounds stupid. After all, they are just phone calls, right? No. They are audible hell on Earth. Between transferring cable, setting up a U-haul, correcting my U-haul receipt, changing setup dates for power and mail forwarding, etc. I'm starting to realize that 'customer service representative' is the most ironically inaccurate job title out there. Yes, what a SERVICE it is to me to put me on hold for 10 minutes, then transfer me between 5 people before hanging up on me. Your SERVICE is impeccable when you overcharge me by $65 and your method of fixing it is by charging me another $60 before crediting my account. Oy. /crotchetyoldmanrant

BUT, the beautiful part of it all is that it is DONE. We are in our new place and absolutely loving it. There's something strangely comforting about being able to sit in your home and not feel like you are seconds away from the onset of a claustrophobia or anxiety attack. Ah, such bliss. And while Ava's room is currently a temporary storage spot, it's exciting walking into that room and envisioning it as her space. We keep reminding her that she is a very lucky girl to have her own bathroom before she is even born! It's safe to say that almost every time I'm there, I envision that first day when she'll be coming home, and we walk in saying 'This is your room, Ava!' I should note that we have already begun training the dogs to understand that the room is off limits, and violation of this rule will result in behind-swattings and alpha rolls. I'm a strict disciplinarian, what can I say.

And while we haven't outfitted her room yet, we took a big step towards doing so this past weekend by making our registry at Babies R' Us. Just a warning to all future parents, this is one of those things that you don't think twice about when its casually mentioned during the pregnancy, but you should know ahead of time that registering WILL be an event in itself. Amanda and I were there for 3 hours, and I'm pretty sure we are on the low end of the totem pole when it comes to how long people spend there scanning stuff. The woman who set us up made sure to mention multiple times that they were open until 9:30 PM, and that there were places to eat all around. She also noted that the guns only hold 250 items on them, but if you fill one up and need another, you can do that. GOOD LORD. I figured we would be walking around and see women building campfires in the middle of the layette section (for those of you that don't know, that's fancy talk for 'clothes' in the baby world). That's how intense this process is.

Despite the intimidating introduction to registering, it was actually a pretty fun process one we got rolling. I quickly realized this: no matter how much we research and deliberate over items for the baby, ultimately Ava is going to decide what she likes and what she doesn't like. That's the beautiful thing about human beings; we are opinionated as hell the minute we come out of the womb, and our little girl will be no different. The best we can do is have fun with it and pick things out that we hope or think she will like. If she does; we are great parents. And if she doesn't; we try again and will still be great parents. All of this being said, someone please be sure to pick up the 'DOGS' book off of our registry; even if Ava hates it, Amanda and I sat there giggling like fools when we looked at it so we know it will provide somebody in our family with some entertainment!

Oh yes, and a warning sign that I'm getting more and more ready to be a dad: I found myself getting excited at the discovery of The Children's Place having a sale on its website. And proceeded to order 4 things for Ava, including the onesie below (except the one I bought says DAD instead of MOM). The girl isn't even born and I'm already being suckered into buying her clothes. This is dangerous.



I think I can speak for Amanda as well as myself when I say that having the move and registering done was a huge weight off of our shoulders. We are finally at a place where we have a little bit of calm, and definitely a lot less stress. Is it the calm before the proverbial storm? Maybe. But at the same time, it's a storm of things that are incredibly exciting and just bring us closer to get us more prepared for that big day.

P.S. I'd also like to give a shout out to my dad aka Grandpa Dave; it was his birthday yesterday!

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The Stroller Coaster

I've always considered myself to be an excellent researcher. Hell, most of my major classes in school depended on it. So between researching demographics/marketing data for school, and having an OCD-influenced habit of reading online reviews before major purchases, I considered myself a research savant. Things have changed.

Strollers have effectively crushed my research ego.

Let's take an abridged walk down stroller lane. Strollers. Seems simple enough.

But wait a second, buddy..you have decisions to make. Long gone are the days of just getting a STROLLER. Do you want a standard stroller, a lightweight stroller, a jogging stroller, a travel system, or a tandem stroller?

Hmmmm..okay, let's go a different route here..let's look at some brands, that should make this a bit easier.

BRANDS? Oh, we've got brands alright! Evenflo, Graco, Chicco, Bugaboo, Maclaren, Zooper, Baby Trend, Safety 1st, Combi, UPPAbaby...

Whoa whoa whoa..since when did GM start producing strollers too? Is the baby product market so competitive that the number of manufacturers needs to be in the double digits?

And well, the answer is yes. For all intensive purposes, it seems that the stroller stopped being about the baby a long time ago. Now the differentiating factors lie in the various creature comforts that are in store for Mom and Dad rather than the little one. Cupholders, storage bins, shopping baskets, one-handed steering (which I'd like to see accomplished with two klutzy dogs in tow), off-road capabilities, and on and on. And travel systems are a totally different animal, with the ability to turn a car seat into a carrier into a stroller attachment. My mind has officially been blown, and not by Sony, Microsoft, Apple, or any other technology giant. Oh no, that honor goes to Graco.

And you best believe that the user reviews on these products are a ridiculous combination of entertaining and informative. Just by reading some of these people's maniacal rants, you can tell their children are going to be the home-schooled bubble children who end up working at Erotic City and freaking out on PCP. Okay, that might be a little dramatic, but really..some of these people need to chill out.

So needless to say, the past week or so has been a flurry of online research and attempts to whittle this redwood into a toothpick by narrowing down a final stroller list. Which led me to a frantic lunchtime escapade yesterday.

5 minutes before I'm about to leave for lunch, I see a Twitter message from BabyCheapskate (yeah, that's right) announcing a deal on Babies R Us' website for a Graco travel system for only $85 after discount (normal price is around $230). As soon as I see this and verify it, my game face is on. I felt like Indiana Jones in the opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark, getting ready to swap the bag for the gold idol. E-mailing and making phone calls all at once, I was determined to snag this deal while it was still good. Always a clutch player, Dad jumped in and went through all the steps to order this bad boy, and then met a final screen that said PRODUCT NO LONGER AVAILABLE.













Sigh. Frustrating, but I won't give up hope. I am determined enough, and am slowly becoming cheap enough, that I WILL hunt down a deal on something..stroller, high chair, year's supply of pacifiers. Oh yes, I will.

In the meantime, I'm going to look for a stroller that is bluetooth-enabled and has built-in speakers with an audio-in port for my mp3 player. Ava and I aren't going to just walk, we're gonna HUSTLE.

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The First Post of Awesomeness

This is my blog.  That much is obvious.  Now why did I feel the need to start a blog? Simply put, I have a LOT going on in my life right now.  And as useful as facebook and twitter (both conveniently linked above) are, I needed another avenue to talk about everything that is going on.  Plus, I think that somewhere out there in this Internet universe, there are other young, Generation Y fathers-to-be and husbands-to-be that are looking for an opportunity to relate a bit.

I titled this bad boy 'A Family of My Own' because these two major things that are happening revolve around one common theme; making that big step in life from being 'in' a family to 'having' a family.  Now, before I get the semantics police (and relatives) all up in arms, I simply mean this; While I was a son, a brother, a nephew, and a grandchild before, I'm now also on my way to being a husband, a dad, a brother-in-law, and a son-in law as well.  And while those new titles are easy to throw out in a blog, each has a lot of meaning behind it and has taken (and will take) plenty of work to earn.  I am especially thrilled about the idea of having my own nuclear family; minute, seemingly stupid details like sending out a family Christmas card excite me (I can already hear the laughter) and it seems like every day I find something new to look forward to.

So where do we stand right now? Well, let's face it, I'm a little late in getting this started.  I thought about doing this a while ago and, surprise surprise, I've been caught up in doing so much stuff that it fell behind a bit on the priority list.  Right now, Amanda and I are about halfway through the pregnancy; going off of our original due date of 11/24, she finished her 20th week yesterday.  BUT, we are both fairly convinced that she is a bit farther along than that, especially after the sonogram photos indicated that the due date might be bumped up a little.  That being said, I'm still crossing my fingers for a Halloween baby.  Yes, I'm that big of a Halloween freak.  

Surprisingly, the last couple of weeks have been pretty calm in terms of getting ready for the arrival.  There was a period where it seemed we were going nonstop between finding a new apartment, finding out the sex of the baby (the most beautiful little girl that will ever live) and various other activities.  Of course, I never take periods of calm for granted, nor do I expect them to last long, because if there's anything I've learned thus far in 2009, it's that anything can unexpectedly pop up at ANY time.  Plus, I know we have a doctor's appointment coming up and our big move is exactly a month from today, which I am desperate for. Our current 640 square feet for 2 people and 2 dogs is not a living situation, its a sick, twisted experiment that is testing our sanity, patience, and our creativity in how to store all of our stuff.  2 bedrooms, 2 baths, here we come!

Well, I feel like I'm already starting to ramble, but that should be expected from this point on.  I am going to do my best to insert some sort of structure into this thing, but at the same time, where's the fun in that?  

I'll be back soon, and in the meantime, enjoy 12:34:56 7/8/09 today!  

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