I've had a rough week. I won't go into detail (although part of it will be explained in a post later this weekend), but it has been one of the most trying, stressful and saddening weeks I've had in a long time. Here's the hard part about being a dad and having a bad week: I hate being upset or in a bad mood in front of my daughter.
This is a constant mental struggle for me. As her father and as someone she looks up to and is constantly watching, I feel like I should always 'put on my happy face' and be smiling and laughing. She's so quick to mimic and mirror behaviors and attitudes right now that I hate the idea of making her upset or grumpy because she can see that her dad is.
But on the other side of the coin, life isn't always a constant series of good moods. Now, I'm not trying to teach my toddler deep philosophical life lessons already. But, rather than feeling the need to constantly plaster on a fake smile, maybe I should use these bad moods to let my little girl know that it's okay to be sad sometimes. It's okay to have a bad day. It's okay to come home sometimes after a long day and cry, frown or in daddy's case, grab a beer and melt into the couch.
As parents, we all want to be invincible. We want to be the best, the happiest, the smartest, the funniest. Chances are, all of us moms and dads have far too many days where we have to struggle to put on a smile and fight through the urge to scream, cry, punch a pillow, or whatever venting mechanism we need for our frustrations. And sometimes, masking it is okay.
But sometimes, we just need to be transparent. I've realized this week that it's okay for my daughter to know that I'm sad. As happy-go-lucky of a person that I am, I'm only human, and the bad moods will come sometimes. And if I want my daughter to be emotionally healthy and feel comfortable expressing what she's feeling, then I sure as hell better do the same for her as she's growing up and developing. (Don't you love those classic 'Practice what you preach' scenarios?)
The other night when I was with my little girl, I explained to her that I was having a bad week. I told her why. I spilled my guts to my daughter who isn't even 2, and it felt amazing. She had no idea what I was saying for the most part, but she did pick up on the word 'sad'. It's a funny thing about little kids; as much as they are still learning about life, they have a very keen emotional sense. My daughter knows the difference between my goofy, lip-pouting sad face and genuine dejection. When she could tell that I was legitimately upset and not feeling like my normal, silly-daddy self, she knew. And she gave me a hug.
And it was the best I've felt all week.
This is a constant mental struggle for me. As her father and as someone she looks up to and is constantly watching, I feel like I should always 'put on my happy face' and be smiling and laughing. She's so quick to mimic and mirror behaviors and attitudes right now that I hate the idea of making her upset or grumpy because she can see that her dad is.
But on the other side of the coin, life isn't always a constant series of good moods. Now, I'm not trying to teach my toddler deep philosophical life lessons already. But, rather than feeling the need to constantly plaster on a fake smile, maybe I should use these bad moods to let my little girl know that it's okay to be sad sometimes. It's okay to have a bad day. It's okay to come home sometimes after a long day and cry, frown or in daddy's case, grab a beer and melt into the couch.
As parents, we all want to be invincible. We want to be the best, the happiest, the smartest, the funniest. Chances are, all of us moms and dads have far too many days where we have to struggle to put on a smile and fight through the urge to scream, cry, punch a pillow, or whatever venting mechanism we need for our frustrations. And sometimes, masking it is okay.
But sometimes, we just need to be transparent. I've realized this week that it's okay for my daughter to know that I'm sad. As happy-go-lucky of a person that I am, I'm only human, and the bad moods will come sometimes. And if I want my daughter to be emotionally healthy and feel comfortable expressing what she's feeling, then I sure as hell better do the same for her as she's growing up and developing. (Don't you love those classic 'Practice what you preach' scenarios?)
The other night when I was with my little girl, I explained to her that I was having a bad week. I told her why. I spilled my guts to my daughter who isn't even 2, and it felt amazing. She had no idea what I was saying for the most part, but she did pick up on the word 'sad'. It's a funny thing about little kids; as much as they are still learning about life, they have a very keen emotional sense. My daughter knows the difference between my goofy, lip-pouting sad face and genuine dejection. When she could tell that I was legitimately upset and not feeling like my normal, silly-daddy self, she knew. And she gave me a hug.
And it was the best I've felt all week.
