Every day I wonder what exactly is going through my daughter's head. Today though, as I tweeted my own thoughts (excessively, I'm sure), that curiosity went a little farther and I said to myself "What would she tweet about if she had the dexterity and mental capability to do so?" Below is a fictional account of what a day's worth of tweets might look like coming from my 20-month-old.
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7:02 AM: "Good morning tweeps! Could totally sleep for another hour, but going to stress everyone out and wake up now, LOL!"
7:14 AM: "Oh great, bananas and toast for breakfast AGAIN. Can't wait til I'm able to speak so I can tell my dad to make me some pancakes! #Overit"
7:38 AM: "Anyone else really getting into Jake and the Neverland Pirates this season? @DisneyChannel is killing it with this show! #YoHoHo"
8:07 AM: "Mom just took my binky away. Said I can have it again at nap time. About. To raise. HELL!"
8:51 AM: "OMG YES. RT @SesameStreet Retweet this message for your chance to win an all-expenses paid trip to meet Elmo!"
10:17 AM: "Just left Mommy & Me class. Met the cutest guy there, but he's only 15 months and I didn't even get his name (he can't talk). UGH."
11:03 AM: "RT this if you hate it when your parents tell you 'No no!' #TeamDoItAnyway"
11:27 AM: "Does anybody else have these vacuum monsters at their house? Seriously freaks me out. I don't trust that thing at all!"
11:59 AM: "At Deanna Rose Farmstead. I love the animals at the place, but why does it smell like the inside of my Diaper Genie? #NoseplugsPlease"
12:42 PM: "Suddenly feeling so exhausted..."
3:04 PM: "WOW, I totally passed out LOL! Oh well, up and ready to take on the rest of the day. Sidewalk chalk, anyone? #Leggo"
3:12 PM: "Someone please explain why cars can't be drawn on? And why I have to hold hands whenever I walk somewhere? I swear, I can't do ANYTHING."
3:55 PM: "Before I forget, #FF some of my fav brands: @Pampers @GracoBaby @BabyEinstein @ToysRUs @Britax @OldNavy (love their tops!)"
4:19 PM: "Just made Mom read 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' for like the 9th time LOL. What can I say, I love that page with all the food!"
5:37 PM: "Daddy just got home. Where does he go all day anyway? Oh well, I've got a giant poop I'm about ready to unload for him. Start the countdown!"
5:46 PM: "Mission Dirty Diaper Accomplished! Take that, @AFOMOBlog!"
6:25: PM: "About to get into the bath. Realized I should have saved that poop for the tub. Darn it! #IllDoItTomorrow"
6:32 PM: "What do you guys think about these two red things on our chests? I guess they are called 'Nee nees'? Seriously, so weird!"
7:04 PM: "Oh jeez, Dad's filming me again. Making me pretend to be a rapper or whatever. He's so easily entertained! #BabyLife"
7:48 PM: "Milk in one hand, binky in the other. Getting rocked with my favorite blanket. Life is good. Goodnight everyone, tweet you tomorrow"
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7:02 AM: "Good morning tweeps! Could totally sleep for another hour, but going to stress everyone out and wake up now, LOL!"
7:14 AM: "Oh great, bananas and toast for breakfast AGAIN. Can't wait til I'm able to speak so I can tell my dad to make me some pancakes! #Overit"
7:38 AM: "Anyone else really getting into Jake and the Neverland Pirates this season? @DisneyChannel is killing it with this show! #YoHoHo"
8:07 AM: "Mom just took my binky away. Said I can have it again at nap time. About. To raise. HELL!"
8:51 AM: "OMG YES. RT @SesameStreet Retweet this message for your chance to win an all-expenses paid trip to meet Elmo!"
10:17 AM: "Just left Mommy & Me class. Met the cutest guy there, but he's only 15 months and I didn't even get his name (he can't talk). UGH."
11:03 AM: "RT this if you hate it when your parents tell you 'No no!' #TeamDoItAnyway"
11:27 AM: "Does anybody else have these vacuum monsters at their house? Seriously freaks me out. I don't trust that thing at all!"
11:59 AM: "At Deanna Rose Farmstead. I love the animals at the place, but why does it smell like the inside of my Diaper Genie? #NoseplugsPlease"
12:42 PM: "Suddenly feeling so exhausted..."
3:04 PM: "WOW, I totally passed out LOL! Oh well, up and ready to take on the rest of the day. Sidewalk chalk, anyone? #Leggo"
3:12 PM: "Someone please explain why cars can't be drawn on? And why I have to hold hands whenever I walk somewhere? I swear, I can't do ANYTHING."
3:55 PM: "Before I forget, #FF some of my fav brands: @Pampers @GracoBaby @BabyEinstein @ToysRUs @Britax @OldNavy (love their tops!)"
4:19 PM: "Just made Mom read 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' for like the 9th time LOL. What can I say, I love that page with all the food!"
5:37 PM: "Daddy just got home. Where does he go all day anyway? Oh well, I've got a giant poop I'm about ready to unload for him. Start the countdown!"
5:46 PM: "Mission Dirty Diaper Accomplished! Take that, @AFOMOBlog!"
6:25: PM: "About to get into the bath. Realized I should have saved that poop for the tub. Darn it! #IllDoItTomorrow"
6:32 PM: "What do you guys think about these two red things on our chests? I guess they are called 'Nee nees'? Seriously, so weird!"
7:04 PM: "Oh jeez, Dad's filming me again. Making me pretend to be a rapper or whatever. He's so easily entertained! #BabyLife"
7:48 PM: "Milk in one hand, binky in the other. Getting rocked with my favorite blanket. Life is good. Goodnight everyone, tweet you tomorrow"


