Becoming # 2

First of all, this entry has nothing to do with diapers, poop or anything of a less-than-fragrant nature...I know, this is rare for me. No, the # 2 here is in reference to one of the most incredible changes that occurs during pregnancy. It's not physical, it goes fairly unseen, and it definitely isn't listed in the beginning of the chapters of 'What to Expect'. What I'm talking about is how becoming pregnant and getting ready for a baby has the magical power of causing an expectant mother or father to become almost completely selfless. Now is that to say that there aren't selfish parents out there? Of course not. There is a fair share of parents out there that still are in love with themselves. They are called stage moms, and you can usually find these freaks on reality shows planting wigs and fake teeth on their children to gain attention. But I digress...

I'll admit it, I've spent most of my life being selfish. I'm not too proud to say it. Quite frankly, I think the majority of people do, whether they will own up to it or not. We come into this world immediately being babied, coddled, and given everything that we need as soon as we need it. As we get a little bit older, this conditioning becomes pretty obvious as the phrases "I WANT" and "MINE" become the most regular parts of the child lexicon. Now, obviously as kids, we are generally taught the basic concepts of sharing, caring for others, and all that storybook, Sesame Street, golden rule propaganda. But, throughout our youth, do we REALLY ever stop considering ourselves to be # 1? I'd venture to say no. We may go through a brief phase between the ages of 7-9 where we get a kick out of being considerate of other people, but its pretty much human nature to look out for yourself way before anybody else. And do I really even have to talk about high school?

So what is it about those little unseen miracles that gets a grown man to crumble and forget about any of his own issues? How can a 1 1/2 pound person who can't even speak and still has partially translucent skin wrap her daddy around her finger before she's even here to give me sad eyes?

I HAVE NO IDEA. Seriously. I'm completely and utterly stumped. I've taken a step back and looked at my habits recently, compared them to how I used to act, and I am in total disbelief. No self-help book, no 'step' program, and no psychiatrist could have done the sort of mental makeover that Ava has done to me over these past few months.

Let's take money for example. The stuff burns a hole in my pocket. I've learned that the hard way. In the not too distant past, I could tear through my bank account balance easily with purchases that were nothing more than simple 'wants' of mine. Now? All I can think about is making sure that my little girl is going to be provided for. I'm already ordering her clothes for NEXT summer so that I know she'll have something fun to wear when we go to the pool or out to play or whatever. This is just so bizarre to me I can't even begin to explain it. I make a little bit of extra money doing work online and just got into the habit of doing market research studies. Today I got paid $30 for doing a half-hour research study on white out pens..yeah I know, if only I could make a career out of those bad boys, right? Now, there's lots of things I could do with that money. I could buy CDs that I want, or put the money towards getting a new cell phone since I loathe mine. But in reality, I can't even think about buying that sort of stuff because in my mind I envision Ava surrounded by toys, food and clothes. And every time I swipe my debit card or hit Purchase online, I imagine one of those items vanishing, causing her lip to start trembling (I'm doomed), and I can't even bring myself to do it. So in the meantime, I'll pirate the CDs I want (cram it FCC) and I'd much sooner rock a Zack Morris cell phone than take something from her..that money is going into the 'Ava Jar'!



Money is just a minor example though. It's really a matter of the complete mindset of wanting to ensure somebody else's well-being ahead of yours. Before Ava, I tried to do this as best I could with Amanda (although I'm sure I wasn't the greatest..but she's going to have to start her own blog if she wants to put that out there) but now I KNOW that I'm 100% capable and intent on ensuring my family's happiness first and foremost. I wouldn't want it any other way. After all, Amanda is a pretty incredible woman, and I can only assume Ava is going to follow in Mommy's footsteps..how could I not want to see smiles on their faces?

I also have to give credit where credit is COMPLETELY due and note how amazing Amanda has been up to this point. It's absolutely crazy that we are about 2/3 of the way through the pregnancy, and it has gone so fast. I attribute so much of that to the fact that she has been a complete badass (yep, I said it) through it all and has shown just how strong of a person she is. Working 30+ hours (on her feet the whole time, not to mention), moving, taking care of two large dogs with anxiety and hyperactivity issues, all while managing to put up with an overcaffeinated, anxiety-stricken fiance..and pregnant? Sounds like quite the load to me, and she has handled it totally in stride. Plus, she looks pretty damn good doing it, if I do say so myself! I have no doubt in my mind that she is going to be an incredible mommy.

So where exactly are we at this point? We are in the middle of week 27, and at our most recent appointment (Tuesday) we found out that Ava's heartbeat and Amanda's tummy measurement were both perfect. We also got a chance to get a quick sonogram peek at Ava to make sure she was moving as much as she needed to be, and she definitely was! We've already decided that she is going to be an ornery one because she likes to play games with Amanda and I. I said the other night that trying to feel her kick is like playing Whack-A-Mole at the arcade (RIP Fun Factory) because once you put your hand where Kick A struck, Kick B is on the other side. And then when you put both hands on, she just stops. Already a little pain in the butt and I love it. I can just envision here in there, floating around and laughing at her idiot dad trying to chase her around..a glimpse into the future, I'm sure!

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I'm a terrible blogger..

I'll just throw that out there to begin with. Although, I will say that the time that has elapsed between postings is a perfect indication of how busy we have been and how fast time is flying by. I'm now referring to how close the due date is in terms of weeks rather than months, which is a scary thought! At this rate, before I know it Ava will be in high school driving my car and I'll be fully gray and developing a serious case of Dunlap's disease (dont know what it is? Google it).

So what exactly has been going on since my last update? Well, without going into the complete minutia of every single task, moving to a new apartment undoubtedly occupied a vast amount of our time. Although it kept us busy, stressed, and at times exhausted, the move was a long time coming and very very welcome. We essentially doubled our space, and are now in a literally brand new apartment that will be the perfect place to start out and welcome our little girl.

For me, there are two parts of moving that are by far the worst:

1) Cleaning the old place for inspection. Long story short, I can't wait to stop renting. I have yet to be a part of a 100% pleasant renting experience, although I'm trying to be optimistic that our newest place will change this. I would love to go on a rant, naming landlord's and throwing out names of apartment complexes that have infuriated me over the past few years, but considering one of the recent lawsuits that made its way into national headlines, I think I'll refrain (as hard as that is for me).

2) Making all the phone calls. I know, this one sounds stupid. After all, they are just phone calls, right? No. They are audible hell on Earth. Between transferring cable, setting up a U-haul, correcting my U-haul receipt, changing setup dates for power and mail forwarding, etc. I'm starting to realize that 'customer service representative' is the most ironically inaccurate job title out there. Yes, what a SERVICE it is to me to put me on hold for 10 minutes, then transfer me between 5 people before hanging up on me. Your SERVICE is impeccable when you overcharge me by $65 and your method of fixing it is by charging me another $60 before crediting my account. Oy. /crotchetyoldmanrant

BUT, the beautiful part of it all is that it is DONE. We are in our new place and absolutely loving it. There's something strangely comforting about being able to sit in your home and not feel like you are seconds away from the onset of a claustrophobia or anxiety attack. Ah, such bliss. And while Ava's room is currently a temporary storage spot, it's exciting walking into that room and envisioning it as her space. We keep reminding her that she is a very lucky girl to have her own bathroom before she is even born! It's safe to say that almost every time I'm there, I envision that first day when she'll be coming home, and we walk in saying 'This is your room, Ava!' I should note that we have already begun training the dogs to understand that the room is off limits, and violation of this rule will result in behind-swattings and alpha rolls. I'm a strict disciplinarian, what can I say.

And while we haven't outfitted her room yet, we took a big step towards doing so this past weekend by making our registry at Babies R' Us. Just a warning to all future parents, this is one of those things that you don't think twice about when its casually mentioned during the pregnancy, but you should know ahead of time that registering WILL be an event in itself. Amanda and I were there for 3 hours, and I'm pretty sure we are on the low end of the totem pole when it comes to how long people spend there scanning stuff. The woman who set us up made sure to mention multiple times that they were open until 9:30 PM, and that there were places to eat all around. She also noted that the guns only hold 250 items on them, but if you fill one up and need another, you can do that. GOOD LORD. I figured we would be walking around and see women building campfires in the middle of the layette section (for those of you that don't know, that's fancy talk for 'clothes' in the baby world). That's how intense this process is.

Despite the intimidating introduction to registering, it was actually a pretty fun process one we got rolling. I quickly realized this: no matter how much we research and deliberate over items for the baby, ultimately Ava is going to decide what she likes and what she doesn't like. That's the beautiful thing about human beings; we are opinionated as hell the minute we come out of the womb, and our little girl will be no different. The best we can do is have fun with it and pick things out that we hope or think she will like. If she does; we are great parents. And if she doesn't; we try again and will still be great parents. All of this being said, someone please be sure to pick up the 'DOGS' book off of our registry; even if Ava hates it, Amanda and I sat there giggling like fools when we looked at it so we know it will provide somebody in our family with some entertainment!

Oh yes, and a warning sign that I'm getting more and more ready to be a dad: I found myself getting excited at the discovery of The Children's Place having a sale on its website. And proceeded to order 4 things for Ava, including the onesie below (except the one I bought says DAD instead of MOM). The girl isn't even born and I'm already being suckered into buying her clothes. This is dangerous.



I think I can speak for Amanda as well as myself when I say that having the move and registering done was a huge weight off of our shoulders. We are finally at a place where we have a little bit of calm, and definitely a lot less stress. Is it the calm before the proverbial storm? Maybe. But at the same time, it's a storm of things that are incredibly exciting and just bring us closer to get us more prepared for that big day.

P.S. I'd also like to give a shout out to my dad aka Grandpa Dave; it was his birthday yesterday!

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